CHAPTER 13
STORMS RUIN THE GARDEN THAT MY SOUL HOLDS
Nakatitig lamang si Isha sa labas ng balcony ng apartment nila ni Malcolm.
The night was quiet, ngunit madaming gumugulo sa isip niya.
She kept wondering about the future—about what would happen once the remaining time she had in this past finally ran out.
Paano na lamang sila ni Malcolm?
What would happen to them?
What would happen to the love she had fought so hard to have?
And what would happen to her deepest desire—the simple wish to stay beside him?
Maya-maya, she felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her from behind.
A familiar warmth.
A familiar presence.
"Ang lalim naman ng iniisip ng mahal ko."
Malambing ang boses ni Malcolm as he rested his chin lightly near her shoulder.
Isha remained silent for a moment before slowly turning around.
"Wala, mahal. May mga iniisip lang ako."
She gently slipped out of his embrace and looked at him.
"Kagaya ng?"
Isha didn't answer immediately.
Dahan-dahan siyang lumakad papunta sa kanilang kama at naupo roon. Malcolm followed her without hesitation and sat beside her.
"Okay ka lang ba, mahal?"
Isha simply smiled.
But behind that small smile was something she had been trying to hide for quite some time.
Kanina pa niya gustong maiyak.
She had been holding everything inside, trying so hard not to let the tears fall.
Until suddenly, a question came to her mind.
A question she had wanted to ask Malcolm for a long time.
She had never really found the right moment to ask him. Sometimes she simply forgot about it, and other times, she didn't have the courage to bring it up.
But perhaps…
Perhaps this was the right time.
"Mahal… ano pala ang nangyari sa inyo ni Gabriella noon?"
Malcolm's expression slowly changed.
"Naka-move on ka na ba talaga noong mga panahon na sinabi mong puwede bang maging tayo na lang?"
Hindi kaagad nakasagot si Malcolm.
He fell silent, his eyes dropping as he thought about the question.
"Importante pa ba iyon, mahal?" he finally asked. "Nakaraan na iyon, di ba?"
"Oo, nakaraan na iyon."
Isha took a slow breath.
"Pero importante pa rin sa akin na malaman ko ang lahat. Kung naka-move on ka na ba talaga."
She sighed.
Hindi niya alam kung kakayanin ba niyang marinig ang magiging sagot ni Malcolm.
But she needed to know.
She needed the truth—not because she wanted to hurt herself, but because perhaps knowing everything would finally give her mind some peace.
Sa hinaharap na alam niya, there had never been another woman between her and Malcolm.
But now, everything had changed.
They had changed the past.
And perhaps changing the past also meant changing things she once believed were certain.
What if Malcolm had someone else now?
What if the future she remembered was no longer the future waiting for them?
"The truth is, mahal…" Malcolm finally began.
He looked at her.
"Alam ko sa sarili kong gusto kita."
His voice was quiet.
"Mahal na nga kita noon. Pero noong mga panahong hindi ka nagpapakita sa akin… hindi na rin kami okay."
Isha remained silent.
"Nanlamig ako sa kanya kasi ikaw ang lagi kong hinahanap. Mas gusto pa nga kitang kausap kaysa sa kanya."
He paused.
"Kaya kinausap ko siya. Sinabi ko sa kanya na gusto ko nang makipaghiwalay."
Isha's eyes remained fixed on him.
"Pero ang hindi ko alam… hindi rin pala okay ang pinagdaanan niya noon."
Malcolm lowered his gaze.
"And I realized that I was being unfair to her. Iniwan ko na lang siya basta-basta without knowing what she was going through."
Tahimik lamang si Isha habang nakikinig.
Then Malcolm continued.
"Nung mga time na iyon, umaasa ako na baka maayos pa kami. Na baka ako naman talaga ang may problema."
He sighed.
"Baka dahil lang sa mga hinahanap ko na hindi ko makita sa kanya…"
His eyes met Isha's.
"...kasi mas nahanap ko sa'yo. mas narealize ko na tama ka.. na dapat piliin ko ang sarili kong kaligayahan,, na bakit pa ako mananatili sa isang relasyon kung hindi naman na ako masaya"
Isha swallowed hard.
She hadn't expected those words.
She hadn't expected the story to be this complicated.
"Umaasa ka ba na sasabihin niya na aayusin niya ang sarili niya?"
Her voice was quieter now.
Malcolm looked at her.
"Para hindi lang kayo maghiwalay?"
There was pain beginning to creep into Isha's voice.
"Gan'on ba?"
Malcolm hesitated.
"Siguro."
Isha stared at him.
"Siguro?"
She let out a quiet, bitter breath.
"So umaasa ka talaga na sasabihin niya iyon mismo?"
Her eyes began to glisten.
"So parang naging tulay lang pala ako sa inyo noon kapag nagkataon?"
"Hindi sa gano'n, mahal."
Agad na hinawakan ni Malcolm ang mga kamay niya.
He could already feel where this conversation was heading.
"Sabihin mo nga sa akin…"
Isha's voice trembled.
"Move on ka na noong mga panahon na iyon na hinabol mo ako sa airport?"
Malcolm didn't hesitate this time.
"Mas mahal na kita noong mga panahong iyon."
His voice was firm.
"Pakiusap lang… huwag na nating balikan iyon."
He squeezed her hands gently.
"Wala na siya sa buhay ko."
His eyes stayed on Isha.
"Ikaw na ang mahal ko. At wala nang iba pa, mahal."
Hindi nagsalita si Isha.
For a few seconds, she simply stared at him.
Then the tears she had been holding back finally fell.
One tear.
Then another.
Until she could no longer stop them.
Ngayong nasagot na ang mga katanungan na matagal na niyang gustong itanong, para bang hindi pa rin matanggap ng puso niya ang narinig niya.
Somewhere inside her, she had expected a different answer.
Perhaps she had hoped that Malcolm had completely let go long before he ever came after her.
Perhaps she had hoped there had never been even a small part of him that still wished things could work out with Gabriella.
But now she knew the truth.
And somehow, the truth hurt.
"Sa hirap ng pinagdaanan ko para sa atin, Malcolm…"
Her voice cracked.
"Sa tingin mo hindi mahirap sa akin ang lahat lalo na pagkatapos ng mga sinabi mo?"
She wiped her tears, but more continued to fall.
"What if pala nagkaayos kayo, di ba?"
She looked at him through tear-filled eyes.
"Kasi nga umaasa ka pa pala… na may sasabihin siya para maging okay na kayo."
Her voice became weaker.
"So paano na lang ako?"
She stopped.
For a moment, she couldn't continue.
Then she wiped her cheeks again.
"Edi mukha na naman akong tanga."
Bigla na lamang nag-crack ang boses ni Isha.
And that was enough.
The tears came pouring out.
Agad namang kumuha si Malcolm ng tissue at marahang pinunasan ang mga luha niya.
"Tama na, mahal."
He gently held her face.
"Hindi mangyayari iyon."
His voice was soft but certain.
"Dahil ikaw ang mahal ko."
He pulled her into his arms.
"Ikaw ang pinili ko."
Mahigpit niya itong niyakap.
"Kahit sabihin man niya iyon… ikaw na ang mahal ko."
He held her tighter.
"Sorry, mahal, kung sobrang immature ko dati."
His hand slowly moved along her back.
"Natuto na ako noon. Sobrang impulsive ng mga actions ko dati."
He rested his cheek against her hair.
"Pero ngayon, mas matured na ako. At hindi ako nagsisisi sa lahat."
His embrace tightened.
"Mahal na mahal kita, okay?"
He gently stroked her back.
"Kaya tama na… tahan na."
But instead of calming down, mas lalong lumakas ang iyak ni Isha.
Because now, everything she had been carrying inside finally broke free.
All the pain.
All the loneliness.
All the struggles she had endured.
The fear of losing Malcolm.
The uncertainty of their future.
Everything came rushing back at once.
Ngayon niya lamang nailabas ang lahat.
Now that she was finally in Malcolm's arms, she allowed herself to feel everything she had been trying so hard to suppress.
Mas lalong tumulo ang maiinit niyang luha habang mas hinihigpitan niya ang pagkakayakap kay Malcolm.
And deep inside, she knew that it wasn't really Malcolm's words that hurt her the most.
It wasn't Gabriella.
It wasn't even the thought that there had once been a possibility of them getting back together.
What hurt her the most was the thought of losing Malcolm.
The thought that perhaps, after everything she had gone through just to find him again…
She might still lose him.
What if…
Her fingers tightened around Malcolm's shirt.
What if, when she returned to the future, Malcolm wasn't there anymore?
What if all of this—
Their love.
Their memories.
Their life together.
Everything they had fought for—
would disappear the moment she returned?
Her tears continued to fall.
What if…
same ending pa rin?
Then what would she do?
What would be left of her…
if the future still took Malcolm away from her?
On-going chapter 14
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