May mga bangungot na paggising natin ay tuluyan nating nakakalimutan.
Mga panaginip na nawawala kasabay ng unang sinag ng araw, na para bang hindi naman talaga nangyari.
Pero may mga bangungot na hindi ganoon.
May mga panaginip na hindi lamang nananatili sa isipan—kundi nananatili sa puso.
At may mga takot na kahit ilang taon mo nang tinatakasan, kahit ilang beses mong piliting kalimutan, hahanapin at hahanapin ka pa rin nila.
Dahil may mga bagay na hindi kayang burahin ng panahon.
At para kay Isha, isa na roon ang araw na pinakamalaking kinatatakutan niyang balikan.
Ang araw kung kailan nawala si Malcolm.
----------
Napabalikwas si Isha sa kanyang pagkakahiga.
Humihingal.
Nanlalambot ang kanyang katawan habang pilit niyang hinahabol ang kanyang hininga.
Her heart was pounding violently against her chest, as if it were trying to escape from a memory she had spent so long trying to bury.
Napatingin siya sa paligid.
The room was dark.
Tahimik.
Safe.
Pero hindi iyon ang nararamdaman niya.
Dahan-dahan niyang hinawakan ang kanyang dibdib, trying to steady her breathing.
“Malcolm…”
His name escaped her lips like a prayer.
Like a desperate reassurance that he was still there.
Na hindi siya nawala.
Na hindi na niya kailangang balikan ang araw na iyon.
But the images from her nightmare were still painfully clear.
His face.
His voice.
The fear in his eyes.
And then—
the moment she lost him.
Ilang taon na niyang tinatakasan ang bangungot na iyon.
She thought she had already escaped it.
She thought changing the past had finally buried the memory where it belonged.
Pero bakit ngayon?
Bakit ngayong nakuha na niya ang bagay na matagal niyang ipinagdasal?
Ngayong nasa tabi na niya si Malcolm.
Ngayong maaari na niyang hawakan ang kamay nito nang hindi kailangang magtago.
Ngayong maaari na niyang sabihin na mahal niya ito nang walang takot.
Bakit bumalik ang bangungot?
Isha closed her eyes, but the tears finally escaped.
She couldn't understand what was happening inside her.
She was happy.
She knew she was.
But beneath that happiness was something she had never truly managed to silence.
Fear.
The fear of waking up one day and discovering that everything she had finally found…
was gone.
At marahil, iyon ang problema sa mga pusong minsan nang nawalan.
Kahit matagpuan pa nila muli ang taong minamahal nila, may bahagi sa kanilang patuloy na naghihintay sa pagkawala.
Dahil kapag minsan nang naranasan mong mawala ang taong pinakamamahal mo—
kahit maibalik mo pa siya,
hindi mo na kailanman makakalimutan kung ano ang pakiramdam ng mawalan.
And that night, after finally finding the happiness she thought she had lost forever, Isha realized something she had desperately tried to deny.
She had changed the past.
She had found Malcolm again.
But the fear of losing him…
never left.
----------
“Isha…”
Bahagyang nagulat si Isha nang maramdaman niyang hinawakan ni Malcolm ang kamay niya. His fingers gently intertwined with hers before his other hand moved slowly across her back, soothing her with soft, repetitive strokes.
Kanina pa siya nakaupo roon, lost in thought, habang mahimbing pa ring natutulog si Malcolm.
Kanina pa rin niya iniisip ang kanyang masamang panaginip.
Balisang-balisa siya. Kahit gising na siya, parang naiwan pa rin sa katawan niya ang takot na naramdaman niya habang nananaginip.
The fear was still there—quiet, but painfully familiar.
At ang pinakakinatatakutan niya?
Na baka mangyari itong muli.
“Mahal ko?”
Napatingin si Isha kay Malcolm.
His face was filled with concern as he slowly sat up beside her, trying to meet her eyes.
“Okay ka lang?”
“Oo, mahal. Okay lang ako…” mahinang sagot ni Isha. “Nagkaroon lang ako ng nightmare.”
But despite her words, the fear remained written all over her face.
Malcolm noticed.
And without asking another question, he pulled her into his arms.
“Okay lang ’yan,” bulong niya. “Panaginip lang ’yan. Hindi mangyayari ’yan.”
His arms tightened around her.
“Andito lang ako.”
Napapikit si Isha sa yakap niya.
Sana nga.
Sana nga hindi na muli itong mangyari.
She wanted to believe him.
She needed to.
As if sensing the fear she was trying so desperately to hide, Malcolm gently ran his fingers through her hair before pressing soft kisses against her neck, trying to pull her away from the nightmare and back into the warmth of the present.
Napangiti nang bahagya si Isha despite herself.
For a moment, a thought crossed her mind.
Panaginip din kaya ang lahat ng ito?
Maybe this was another dream.
Maybe she was still trapped somewhere between the past and the present, dreaming about the man she had lost and somehow found again.
But then she felt Malcolm’s warmth against her skin.
The steady rhythm of his breathing.
The arms wrapped securely around her.
The gentle kisses against her neck.
And that was when she realized—
This was real.
Malcolm was here.
She was really with him.
At sa unang pagkakataon matapos ang matagal na panahon, she didn't have to wonder whether she was dreaming.
She could feel him.
She could hold him.
And for now, that was enough.
Until—
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Napalingon silang dalawa sa pinto.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Teka lang…” napatawa si Isha nang bahagya habang pinipigilan ang kiliti sa leeg niya. “Tama na. Nakikiliti ako.”
Napangiti si Malcolm, but the knocking continued.
“Magbihis na tayo. May tao ata,” dagdag ni Isha.
“Who the hell is that this early in the morning?” reklamo ni Malcolm habang bumabangon.
Pinulot niya ang mga damit niyang nagkalat sa sahig habang si Isha naman ay mabilis na hinila ang kumot upang takpan ang katawan niya.
She couldn't help but wonder who could possibly be at their door this early.
Maya-maya, mabilis silang nakapagbihis.
At nang tuluyang maayos ang sarili ni Isha, lumapit siya sa pinto.
She took a breath before opening it.
But the moment she did—
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya.
“Ca… Carlo?”
Si Carlo ang taong ilang araw nang hindi nagpaparamdam sa kanya.
“Ang tagal mo namang buksan,” reklamo ni Carlo.
But his expression quickly changed when he noticed the man standing beside Isha.
Malcolm.
Napatingin siya sa loob ng apartment.
His eyes slowly traveled around the room, taking in the little details that suddenly made everything obvious.
Nagsasama na sila.
Napangiti si Carlo.
“Nagsasama na pala kayo.”
Tumango lamang si Isha.
“Anong ginagawa mo dito? Ang aga-aga pa ah,” tanong ni Malcolm.
Halata ang bahagyang pagkairita sa boses nito.
Napatingin si Carlo kay Malcolm.
Ungrateful.
Kung hindi dahil sa akin, hindi kayo magkakareunite nang ganito.
But he kept those words to himself.
Hindi niya iyon kayang sabihin nang harapan—especially with Isha standing there.
Ayaw niyang magalit ito sa kanya.
“Wala naman,” sagot niya. “Gusto ko lang bisitahin si El. Hindi naman kasi ako na-inform na nagsasama na pala kayo.”
The atmosphere between the two men immediately became tense.
Neither of them said what they were really thinking.
But they both knew what was at the center of it.
Isha.
Ang babaeng pareho nilang minamahal.
“Ahh… eh…” bahagyang natawa si Isha, sensing the tension between them. “Okay lang ako, Carlo. Sorry at wala na akong nakuwento sa’yo tungkol dito.”
She paused.
“At pasensya na rin at hindi tayo natuloy pa-Canada.”
Carlo's expression softened.
“Okay lang ’yun, El.”
He glanced briefly at Malcolm before looking back at her.
“Aalis na rin pala ako. Tawagan mo na lang ako kapag may kailangan ka.”
Tumango si Isha.
“Okay.”
“Ako na magsasara ng pinto, mahal,” saad ni Malcolm.
“Sige, mahal. Pupunta lang ako sa CR. Kanina pa ako naiihi.”
Mabilis na naglakad si Isha papunta sa banyo, leaving the two men alone.
The moment she disappeared from sight, Carlo's expression changed.
He looked directly at Malcolm.
“Ingatan mo si Isha.”
Tahimik lamang si Malcolm.
“At huwag mo siyang bibigyan ng sakit sa ulo.”
Bahagyang lumapit si Carlo.
“Kapag pinaiyak mo siya at dinurog mo ang puso niya…”
His eyes hardened.
“Hindi ako magdadalawang-isip na agawin siya sa’yo.”
Before Malcolm could even respond, Carlo turned around and walked away.
Nakatitig lamang si Malcolm sa kanyang likuran.
His jaw tightened.
For a moment, he wanted to follow him.
He wanted to grab him.
Maybe even punch him for what he had just said.
But he stopped himself.
Ayaw niyang makita iyon ni Isha.
Ayaw niyang magalit ito sa kanya.
So instead, he slowly closed the door.
Tahimik siyang huminga nang malalim bago tuluyang lumayo mula rito.
He walked toward Isha’s study table and sat down.
Doon niya kinuha ang bag niya.
From inside, he pulled out—
his journal.
The same journal where he had been preserving every moment he never wanted to lose.
For the past few days, hindi niya iyon nabubuksan.
Hindi niya naisusulat ang mga magagandang alaala nila.
But that journal meant something more to him than just pages filled with words.
It held every beautiful detail since the day he first met Isha.
The words he could never always say aloud.
The moments that made him fall in love with her.
The memories he wanted to carry with him—even years from now.
He slowly opened the journal.
His fingers gently traced the pages he had filled before.
Then he smiled.
A small, genuine smile.
For the first time in days, he was ready to write again.
He picked up his pen.
And before putting it against the page, he stared at the journal for a few seconds.
As if he were preparing himself to preserve another memory.
Another beautiful memory of them.
Then, finally—
he began to write.
-----------
While she was in the bathroom, Isha suddenly caught sight of her wrist.
Her eyes fell on the faint glow of the time displayed there.
For a moment, she simply stared.
Then, slowly, the realization settled in.
The time was decreasing.
Day by day.
Hour by hour.
Second by second.
Napalunok si Isha.
She slowly lifted her gaze toward the mirror.
Her reflection stared back at her, but for the first time, she barely recognized the woman looking back.
Limitado lang ba talaga ang pananatili ko dito?
Her fingers slowly curled around her wrist.
Limitado lang ba talaga ang mga araw na makakasama ko siya?
The thought alone made her chest tighten.
She had been trying so hard not to think about it.
Trying to forget that somewhere beyond these beautiful moments was a countdown waiting to reach its end.
But how could she forget?
Every passing day brought her closer to the moment she had been desperately trying to prevent.
Malcolm's death.
Paano ko ba maiiwasan iyon?
Paano ko babaguhin ang lahat nang hindi ko sinisira ang lahat?
The questions only made her feel more lost.
Hindi na niya alam kung saan siya magsisimula.
Hindi niya alam kung anong tamang desisyon ang dapat niyang gawin.
And sometimes, she couldn't help but wonder—
Sa dinami-rami ng tao sa mundo… bakit ako pa?
Why did she have to carry something like this?
She took a deep breath.
Once.
Twice.
Then slowly, she forced herself to calm down.
Hindi niya gustong makita ni Malcolm na nagkakaganito na naman siya.
She didn't want him to notice the sadness hiding behind her eyes.
For now, she wanted only one thing—to be happy with him.
Gusto niyang sulitin ang bawat oras na mayroon sila, filling their remaining time with memories worth keeping.
No more fear.
No more questions.
No more pain.
Kung maaari lang…
Iwanan muna sana kami ng mga pagsubok.
At least for a little while.
She fixed her hair, wiped the remaining traces of worry from her face, and gave herself one last look in the mirror.
Then she smiled.
A small smile.
Enough to convince Malcolm that she was okay.
She opened the bathroom door.
Paglabas niya, agad niyang nakita si Malcolm na nakaupo sa study table niya.
He was writing something.
Tahimik.
Focused.
Napahinto si Isha.
She was about to ask what he was writing when Malcolm suddenly noticed her.
Their eyes met.
For a brief second, Malcolm froze.
Then, almost instinctively, he quickly closed the book in front of him.
Isha's eyes followed the movement.
That book.
She knew it.
Her heart suddenly skipped a beat.
The journal.
Ito ang journal book ni Malcolm.
At sa sandaling iyon, parang natigilan ang buong mundo ni Isha.
She could barely move.
All this time…
Dala-dala pala niya ang journal na iyon.
The very journal she had been searching for when she returned to this time.
Kaya pala hindi niya ito makita.
It hadn't disappeared.
It had simply returned to its rightful owner.
Malcolm.
Napatingin siya sa journal.
For a moment, she wanted to walk toward it.
She wanted to touch it.
To hold it.
To open its pages and finally see what Malcolm had written about her.
But before she could take another step, Malcolm stood up and gently blocked her way.
“Mahal…”
He held both of her hands.
“Bawal mong basahin ’yung mga nasa loob nito.”
Isha looked at him.
“Why?”
Bahagyang namula si Malcolm.
“Nahihiya pa akong mabasa mo ’yon.”
A small smile appeared on his lips.
“Gusto ko sana… mabasa mo siya sa tamang panahon.”
The words made Isha pause.
Sa tamang panahon.
She didn't know what that meant.
But she could see the sincerity in his eyes.
So she simply smiled.
She wouldn't force him.
Kahit gusto niyang malaman kung ano ang mga nakasulat doon, she respected his decision.
“Okay,” mahinang sagot niya.
Malcolm smiled.
“Thank you, mahal.”
But even after their little exchange, napansin ni Malcolm na hindi pa rin tuluyang nawawala ang bakas ng pangamba sa mukha ni Isha.
He remembered her nightmare.
Perhaps she was still affected by it.
Without saying anything, Malcolm gently wrapped his arms around her.
Then, before she could even protest, he carefully lifted her into his arms.
“Malcolm…”
“Shh.”
He carried her toward the bed.
“Baka kailangan mo lang magpahinga.”
He gently laid her down and sat beside her.
His fingers slowly moved through her hair, stroking it softly.
One gentle touch after another.
Trying to calm her.
Trying to make her forget the nightmare.
Trying to remind her that he was there.
“Andito lang ako,” he whispered.
Isha closed her eyes.
For a moment, she allowed herself to simply feel his presence.
The warmth of his hand.
The softness of his touch.
The comfort of knowing that the man she once lost was now beside her.
And neither of them noticed—
Sa ibabaw ng study table, naiwan ang journal ni Malcolm.
Silent.
Still.
Untouched.
Until—
A faint glow slowly appeared between its pages.
Bahagyang umilaw ang journal.
Once.
Then again.
As if something inside it had awakened.
But neither Isha nor Malcolm noticed.
They were too lost in the warmth of the moment to see it.
And somewhere between the pages of Malcolm's journal…
something was waiting to be remembered.
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